Over the last six months I’ve been through an existential crisis that has rocked me to the core of my being. I’ve questioned every spiritual principle and practice I’ve ever been taught, after learning about the indiscretions of several of my once respected teachers. As I began to take my power back, I reformulated a new world view for myself outside of anything I had ever been taught in a class or training. I began to come back into touch with the intuitive wisdom of my body, always trusting its restriction as a sign that something was out of alignment with my highest knowing, and always trusting the feeling of openness in my body as a sign that I was in alignment with higher truth. As I began to let go of the spiritual identity I had built as a yogi, I questioned who I was, what felt authentic to me now?
As the light of universal consciousness resting in a human body I had taken on the ego identification of a yogi, an investment banker, an environmentalist… but what felt true now, who was I being called to express myself as now, what did the source energy of my soul long to manifest into form? As I sat in the pain of my existential crisis, without running to a spiritual modality for healing or soothing, I began to process and integrate all of the spiritual work I had done. I became stronger in affirming my own truth, creating new boundaries and cutting out relationships that didn’t serve my highest expression. As I took my power back from the teachers I had given it away to, I reclaimed my own power as a leader, only seeking for the truth within myself rather than following the external form and restrictions of a spiritual lineage and practice that was no longer serving me.
As I learned to follow my own truth, old forms fell away, friends, relationships, my apartment, until I was left with only faith to walk the path in front of me, following my intuition fearlessly no matter what. As I began to walk with faith, not seeking to know the full plan before it was revealed, new synchronicities were created and unfolded beyond my wildest dreams or conceptions… I found myself having the experiences I was longing for, of deep connection, understanding and resonance. I found myself empowered with new community and friends, quickly filling the void that had been left in the wake of the fall out. I found myself able to authentically relate and connect to every person that I encountered, with no spiritual ego identity coming in the way of our connection. I found myself closer to my family than I had been in a long time, and all because I had awakened from my spiritual awakening.
As I write this, I feel that there are multiple levels and stages of awakening, that it is an ever continuing process unfolding, that we have the opportunity to continually find ourselves anew, to rediscover our authentic nature and truth, allowing the divinity, the light of higher consciousness, our soul and essence to express itself and realize itself in ever more pure stages of awaking or knowing. As we allow ourselves to travel through dimensions, to reawaken, we have the potential to write a new script, a new destiny for our planet.
When things feel the darkest, when the threat of the climate crisis, storms, fires, political insanity, tragedy is on the front of the collective consciousness, that is the time to stand fully in the light of your authentic truth and being. When the world needs us the most, in those times of darkness and struggle and confusion, these are the moments when you are being fully called to step into the innate power of your awakened self, to fully embody the light of divinity and higher consciousness that you are, and to shine, allowing that truth and higher knowing to pervade the darkness.
As we each begin to accept our role in this cosmic awakening and the shift that our planet undergoes during the ascension process, we begin to bring hope to those who are stuck in the midst of circumstance. We begin to bring the light of hope, of a new dawning of consciousness to reach into the darkest places within the human collective. We begin to challenge the status quo of the way things have been done before. We begin to challenge all of those aspects of the truth of the past, writing for ourselves the history we have experienced and the future we will co-create. There is no turning back in this collective awakening process. The only path is forward, in this rebirthing and remembering process. I hope that you use the pain of your current circumstance, fully feel it, allowing it to flow through your being, and integrate within yourself the higher truth of the divine essence you have come to know.
You are more powerful than you know. You are the conscious creator of your reality. You have the right and ability to change every aspect of your life to reflect the truth and essence of who you are in this moment.
Practice for connecting with your authentic truth and soul:
Place your hands over your heart
Inhale deep, exhale, relax your body
Let the tension drop out of your muscles and your mind
Feel yourself becoming calmer, more relaxed
Feel yourself merging with all of the things around you, all of the living beings and objects surrounding you
Feel the energy pervading all things
Rest in this awareness of connection, this dissolving of form, this moment of energetic resonance
Feel from this place your infinite potential
and know that you are the rising and falling breath
You are the awareness that permeates all things
You are the conscious creator of your reality
and you can create any reality that you wish
What would you like to create, oh conscious creator that you are?